By appointment, Monday-Thursday
My Best Friend
  • “Nobody listens to you.”
  • “You will always be overweight.”
  • “You will never find a better job.”
  • “You will never have the relationship you want.”
  • “You will always be the stupid one.”
  • “You never have succeeded at maintaining an exercise routine and you never will.”
  • “You always sabotage a good thing.”
  • “That is nothing but a pipe dream.”

Would we keep a best friend who spoke to us like this? Hopefully not. So why do we allow the constant, negative litany within our own heads?  It amounts to anti-affirmations, and we inflict them upon ourselves constantly. In fact, it would be easier to get rid of a friend who spoke to us like this than to redirect our negative neuro-pathways, or invalidating inner chatter. Easy? No. Possible? Yes.

One action we called for in our list of “Best Friend” qualities last week was “listens.” Certainly, listening to self-talk, recognizing its effect, begins the process of establishing a friend within ourselves.

Changing the Cranial Conversation

Step One: Recognize. Listen to what we tell ourselves.

Step Two: Resolve. Determine to change the pattern set by years of negativity.

Step Three: Practice. Catch negative self-statements and rewrite the dialogue.

Step Four: Implement. Memorize positive affirmations to modify the thought process toward gentle, kind, compassionate notions that uplift.

I often suggest a simple activity to my clients of writing positive statements about themselves on a 3 X 5 card and reading them aloud three times a day. Sticky notes on your mirror, reciting affirmations, reading a positive statement daily, subscribing to a daily inspirational email feed or Instagram can encourage.  Tools abound. Whatever works best for you, use it. The goal is to develop a lifelong attitude of kindness, loving compassion, and acceptance of one’s true self–just like we treasure from a best friend.

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” ~Alice Walker
Next Week: A week in the life of person who is practicing self-love.

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